3 Ways to Improve Communication in Relationships
The number one ingredient to any healthy and stable relationship is good communication. When communication is poor, relationships break down. You may want to ask yourself these questions: Do we try to understand before trying to be understood? Can we be honest and assert our opinions while respecting the other person’s point of view? To what extend do we feel understood by one another? To what extent can we address and stay focused on the problem at hand?
Whether they are platonic, romantic or revolve around business, your relationships will thrive if you improve your communication with others. Here’s how:
Trust and respect must be earned by both parties. And this requires giving each other your full attention. Keep distractions like cell phones out of the conversation. Make eye contact and fully listen to what the other person is saying and how they are saying it.
Use “I” Statements
One of the biggest things that make a person tune out during a conversation is when they are told they are doing something wrong. YOU do this or YOU do that is not the best way to get your feelings across. When someone feels talked at they are less likely to open up and hear you out.
Try using more “I” statements. These statements focus on your feelings without casting blame on the other person.
So as an example, instead of saying, “You’re always late!” You can instead say, “I worry when you haven’t shown up and I haven’t heard from you.”
Feel the difference?
Focus on the Problem not the Person
Be aware of picking the appropriate time and setting to have a discussion. Have gentle body language and a calm tone of voice.
Use any feedback as an opportunity to grow.
Identify strengths
Avoid Negative Communication Patterns
Poor communication is typically the result of negative communication patterns. These include things like passive aggressiveness, ignoring the other person when they are speaking, and yelling.
While you may not be able to change your own negative communication patterns overnight, you can commit to becoming more aware of them and when they happen, stop the pattern and change it.
These are just some of the ways you can improve your communication with others. You may also want to seek the guidance of an individual or couples’ therapist who can offer you even more strategies and a safe space to share your feelings.
At Minds @ Peace Therapy we look at communication from an emotionally focused point of view. This is the belief that our communication struggles are really a symptom of something deeper, that is getting emotional needs met. In therapy we learn what our emotional needs are and how to begin to communicate them as well as recognize and validate them in others.
If you’d like to explore counseling, please reach out to me. I’d love to help you reconnect and strengthen your communication skills.
SOURCES:
https://positivepsychology.com/communication-in-relationships/
https://www.verywellmind.com/communication-in-relationships-why-it-matters-and-how-to-improve-5218269
https://us.calmerry.com/blog/relationships/9-ways-to-improve-communication-in-your-relationship/